Two Paths
"You need to stop taking this so seriously," Charles said.
Before Daria could answer, Sandi interrupted. "I disagree. You need to take it [i]more seriously[/i]."
"Did I even [i]invite[/i] you in here?" Daria said.
Daria, Sandi, and Charles were sitting on various chairs in the mismatched furniture in Daria's room. Daria was in her recliner, Sandi sat on the couch and Charles found a stiff-backed wooden chair in the kitchen he had dragged out to the living room.
"No," Sandi said. "I'm not going to wait for permission."
"Listen you two," Charles said. "If...[i]if[/i] this is all that the Legion can be - if all we can do is raise money for charity and look pretty. That would be enough. [i]Dayenu[/i]."
"Charles," Daria said, closing her eyes in agitation. "Stark's goal was that we could be something special. Do you really think that doing charity meet-and-greets is really that special? What, we just spent millions of dollars to be Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan, Miley Cyrus and Kim Kardashian?"
"For the last couple of years, there have been people [i]actively trying to kill us[/i]," Sandi said. "We have not been training for [i]charity events[/i]. If our great reason for existence is to raise money, Charles, we could have made a [i]fucking sex tape[/i]! Daria, we are training to be something special. You know what that something special is, I know it, and we all know it."
"What?" Charles said. "Sandi, you're just wanting to take the Legion and turn it into some sort of paramilitary fighting squad."
"What's wrong with that?" Sandi said. "There's a lot to fight. I'd rather take that fight to other people than sit on my butt and wait for it to come to me."
"Listen," Charles said. "If you can't think of another way to be valuable to others than as a fighter, it's not the rest of the Legion's problem."
"Says the man who can transform into anything," Sandi said. "Your safety is assured, ours isn't. You should try transforming into something, like, I don't know, a frigging clue."
"I'm not going to be held responsible for [i]your[/i] emotions," Charles said.
Before things could get hotter, Jane and Quinn entered the room. "Hello!" Jane said.
"Jesus!" Daria said. "I [i]locked[/i] that door after Wingus and Dingus here just barged in!"
"Nothing can hold back the awesome powers of Jane Lane!" Jane said. "If you want locks opened or batteries recharged, we're your crew. Listen - !"
"- I've started making calls!" Quinn said. "People are [i]very interested[/i] in us doing a version of the Magic Show!"
"You [i]what[/i]?" Daria said. "You don't have permisson!"
"[i]You[/i] weren't going to do it. Duh, dah-RIAAA! I used to be [i]Leader of the Legion[/i]? It's not like I threw my contact list away. Jodie's right, those people need money and we can raise it!"
"Kuh-WINN, excuse me, the 'money' thing is very important," Sandi said in a huff, "but we are having an important discussion about the long-term future of the Legion."
"Sandi," Quinn said, "[i]what's more important than this[/i]?"
"We have all of these powers," Sandi said, "[i]and we don't do anything with them[/i]."
"We're not fucking [i]qualified[/i] to do anything with them!" Charles said.
"What was that Stark said about choosing your future?" Sandi said. "If we're not qualified, then maybe we should [i]get[/i] qualified."
Charles was out of his chair. He grabbed the sides of his head and pulled them as if they were rubber, literally [i]stretching[/i] his head in agitation, then letting the skin snap back into place. "Jesus, Sandi! I've been spending the last few month...trying...[i]trying to figure out how to fly the world's most expensive plane[/i]! Do you even have the sheer idea of the [i]scale[/i] of that?"
"I assume there's a point in all of that," Sandi said.
"Yes! Yes, there is a point! I have to read physics, and aerodynamics, and engineering, and safety, and memorize a lot of boring, mindless, repetitive [i]crap[/i]! If you want to qualify as a rescue tech, then that takes [i]time[/i]. It takes effort, it's boring, it's mindless, it's repetitive! We only have [i]so many hours in a day[/i]! I don't have the time to do that!"
"You mean you have the [i]luxury[/i] of having time to do that," Sandi said.
"Listen," Jane said. "I really don't want to be some sort of paramedic."
"Why not?" Quinn said. "It's...can you imagine using these powers to help people? To [i]directly[/i] help people. Remember that poem about the guy who finds a starfish and tosses it back into the sea?"
"There's something about that poem about a lot of other starfish," Daria said. "Quinn, did you even [i]listen[/i] to what Jodie said?"
Quinn's lips tightened. "Daria, I'm [i]tired[/i] of you underestimating my intelligence. Yes, no one is as smart as you or Jodie. We worship the ground you stand on. Whatever."
"O-kay!" Jane said. "I suspect that this is staring to get hot. Why don't we all meet at the Choc'lit Shoppe for soda and pie?"
"Quinn, you're going to have to put your plans on hold," Daria said.
"[i]No[/i]," Quinn said. "If you want to tell those people that we're not interested in a charity event? You're the Legion Leader, Daria, you call them!"
Before Daria could remind Quinn of the relevant part of the Legion Constitution, metal objects in the room began to [i]float[/i], startling everyone and bringing immediate silence.
"Now listen," Jane said. "Here's what's going to happen. Charles? Shut the fuck up. Sandi? Shut the fuck up. Quinn? Boy, you should [i]really[/i] shut the fuck up. Daria? [i]Take a chill pill[/i]. Get the massive redwood sized stick out of your ass. Go to the Observatioh Deck. Listen to some Twenty-One Pilots. [i]Jill off[/i], whatever you do to relax, but for Christ's sake, do it. As for the rest of you, it's [i]timeout time[]/i]. And do not fuck with me, unless you want to be pulling a bunch of silverware out of your assholes for two hours."
Everyone quietly got up and left the room. For one moment, it was only Daria and Jane.
"What was that all about?" Daria asked Jane.
"I just said what I [i]wished[/i] my parents said about a thousand times. But Daria, I'm serious. You're going to have a fucking stroke. [i]These jokers aren't helping[/i]. You're a thinker. Go somewhere and think this out."
"You know, Jane, you're going to be a great Mom someday."
"God, I hope not, [i]amiga[/i]. I've got too much live to live!"
(* * *)
Daria took the first option that Jane offered. She had the entire Observation Deck to herself. Night had fallen, and she took in the sights of forest and mountain and cities, having the luxury of wearing nothing but a T-shirt, sleep pants, and flip thoughts.
She began running through the possible futures of the Legion in her mind. [i]The way I see it,[/i] Daria thought, [i] we have two choices.
Choice #1 is 'Wait'. Wait until some idea of perfection is reached, no matter how long it takes,, some Platonic ideal of being 'perfectly trained'. And God knows how long it will take. We could be 20, 30, 40 years old, we could never reach it. We'll just wait forever until we're 'perfect'. And how long is the National Legion going to wait on us? I'll be eighteen really soon. Theoretically, I'll be an adult woman. Does a youth organization really need 20, 30, 40 year olds representing them?
Are we just going to do 'the magic show' forever? Are we just going to be pin-ups, pictures on walls, doing comedy, doing talk shows, showing up at baseball games?
Choice #2 is "don't wait". We go out, even if we're not fully formed. America claims to believe in self-improvement. You can buy a thousand courses on it. Self-help sells. But we don't really believe in it. America believes in [b]destroying the weak[/b]. If a military parahuman team fucks up, no one has to know. The CIA pays off enough people, and someone gets sent to guard penguins in Antartica. But if the Legion fuck ups, there's no fallback. It's just us, and us alone, to take full responsibility.
I know how the cycle goes. The first part is putting people on a pedistal, the second part is knocking them off it.
Stark was one part brilliant. He was right about one thing. [b]We needed breathing space[/b]. We needed to become a work in progress. We needed our independence, we needed not to become someone else's project.
But he only left us with half the puzzle. Self-development is good to a point, but then we have to have an end in mind. Stark trusted us to find the end in mind and trusted us to choose our future.
The time has now come to choose the future. And the Legion chose me and now, I'm the person who has to provide the direction. I could make the Legion great, or I could break it into pieces.
Well, I'm not going out like a lamb, motherfuckers. I'm starting to understand that in life, you demand what you want, or you take what you're given. Like it or not, that's the way it is. I didn't make those rules. Those rules suck. They're fucking unfair. But it's all the adult assholes in the world gave me to work with, and I can't think of my own confort anymore. So I'm going to start making demands.[/i]
"No kidding," a voice said from behind her.
She turned, shocked, reaching out with her mind, ready for a confrontation. But yet, the force of the reach of her mental powers was strangely neutered when she recognized the man.
"[i]Russell Stark[/i]?" she cried.
"Shh," the man said, like Santa Claus but in middle age and with red-gray hair. "Not so loud! [i]Everybody will want one![/i] How are you, Daria?"
Daria had a million questions to ask him. But she was going to be bold. The immediate needs of the Legion had to be met. "How much do you know about what's going on?"
"I know enough," Stark said.
"What can you give me in the way of resources?"
"You want [i]more[/i]?" Stark said, aghast.
"Uh...are we poor?"
Stark burst out laughing. "Nah, we're not," he said. "I just wanted to do that Oliver Twist thing. I might be wanted in several countries but Russell Stark has not run out of money."
"Dawn Hall is quitting."
"Yeah. Dawn was a stop-gap. She did what she did entirely as a favor to me. She had to walk away because a bunch of leeches were pulling her choke-chain. I have some ideas of my own about your CEO problem. But if the problem you need solved, Daria, is one that involves [i]money[/i]? You'll find, Daria, that most of the problems in the world [i]cannot[/i] be solved by money, no matter what people claim. The real problems aren't solved by throwing resources at them. So when you come across one of those rare problems that can really be solved by money, it's like finding a jewel in a dungheap."
"I need infrastructure," Daria said.
"Send me the bill."
"I need personnel," Daria said.
"Tell me what kind of people you need. Email rstark@stark.com. Don't expect an answer, but expect it to get read."
"You really have [i]that[/i] much money?"
"I do have a lot of time. On my hands, that is."
Daria finally exhaled. She was weak in the knees. "I have so much I need to say to you."
"Sorry," Russell Stark. "I'll have to go soon. I hope you'll be polite and turn your back while I scale down the side of Legion Tower."
"What, you're a ninja?"
"I can't give away all of my secrets," Stark said. "But I would appreciate the privacy. You didn't make it easy to get in here and there's no easy way out. So make your goodbyes quick."
"Thank you for giving us the time to find our way," Daria said. "Thank you for letting us learn on our own. Thank you for letting us make mistakes. Thank you for giving us help when we need it."
"My pleasure," Stark said. "But there's another person whom you should thank, and you know exactly who it is. Now, my dear Daria, you're going to have to turn your back so I can call my reindeer."
"Okay." Daria turned her back.
"One last question," Stark said. "[i]How much do you like your mother[/i]?"
Before Daria could answer, Sandi interrupted. "I disagree. You need to take it [i]more seriously[/i]."
"Did I even [i]invite[/i] you in here?" Daria said.
Daria, Sandi, and Charles were sitting on various chairs in the mismatched furniture in Daria's room. Daria was in her recliner, Sandi sat on the couch and Charles found a stiff-backed wooden chair in the kitchen he had dragged out to the living room.
"No," Sandi said. "I'm not going to wait for permission."
"Listen you two," Charles said. "If...[i]if[/i] this is all that the Legion can be - if all we can do is raise money for charity and look pretty. That would be enough. [i]Dayenu[/i]."
"Charles," Daria said, closing her eyes in agitation. "Stark's goal was that we could be something special. Do you really think that doing charity meet-and-greets is really that special? What, we just spent millions of dollars to be Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan, Miley Cyrus and Kim Kardashian?"
"For the last couple of years, there have been people [i]actively trying to kill us[/i]," Sandi said. "We have not been training for [i]charity events[/i]. If our great reason for existence is to raise money, Charles, we could have made a [i]fucking sex tape[/i]! Daria, we are training to be something special. You know what that something special is, I know it, and we all know it."
"What?" Charles said. "Sandi, you're just wanting to take the Legion and turn it into some sort of paramilitary fighting squad."
"What's wrong with that?" Sandi said. "There's a lot to fight. I'd rather take that fight to other people than sit on my butt and wait for it to come to me."
"Listen," Charles said. "If you can't think of another way to be valuable to others than as a fighter, it's not the rest of the Legion's problem."
"Says the man who can transform into anything," Sandi said. "Your safety is assured, ours isn't. You should try transforming into something, like, I don't know, a frigging clue."
"I'm not going to be held responsible for [i]your[/i] emotions," Charles said.
Before things could get hotter, Jane and Quinn entered the room. "Hello!" Jane said.
"Jesus!" Daria said. "I [i]locked[/i] that door after Wingus and Dingus here just barged in!"
"Nothing can hold back the awesome powers of Jane Lane!" Jane said. "If you want locks opened or batteries recharged, we're your crew. Listen - !"
"- I've started making calls!" Quinn said. "People are [i]very interested[/i] in us doing a version of the Magic Show!"
"You [i]what[/i]?" Daria said. "You don't have permisson!"
"[i]You[/i] weren't going to do it. Duh, dah-RIAAA! I used to be [i]Leader of the Legion[/i]? It's not like I threw my contact list away. Jodie's right, those people need money and we can raise it!"
"Kuh-WINN, excuse me, the 'money' thing is very important," Sandi said in a huff, "but we are having an important discussion about the long-term future of the Legion."
"Sandi," Quinn said, "[i]what's more important than this[/i]?"
"We have all of these powers," Sandi said, "[i]and we don't do anything with them[/i]."
"We're not fucking [i]qualified[/i] to do anything with them!" Charles said.
"What was that Stark said about choosing your future?" Sandi said. "If we're not qualified, then maybe we should [i]get[/i] qualified."
Charles was out of his chair. He grabbed the sides of his head and pulled them as if they were rubber, literally [i]stretching[/i] his head in agitation, then letting the skin snap back into place. "Jesus, Sandi! I've been spending the last few month...trying...[i]trying to figure out how to fly the world's most expensive plane[/i]! Do you even have the sheer idea of the [i]scale[/i] of that?"
"I assume there's a point in all of that," Sandi said.
"Yes! Yes, there is a point! I have to read physics, and aerodynamics, and engineering, and safety, and memorize a lot of boring, mindless, repetitive [i]crap[/i]! If you want to qualify as a rescue tech, then that takes [i]time[/i]. It takes effort, it's boring, it's mindless, it's repetitive! We only have [i]so many hours in a day[/i]! I don't have the time to do that!"
"You mean you have the [i]luxury[/i] of having time to do that," Sandi said.
"Listen," Jane said. "I really don't want to be some sort of paramedic."
"Why not?" Quinn said. "It's...can you imagine using these powers to help people? To [i]directly[/i] help people. Remember that poem about the guy who finds a starfish and tosses it back into the sea?"
"There's something about that poem about a lot of other starfish," Daria said. "Quinn, did you even [i]listen[/i] to what Jodie said?"
Quinn's lips tightened. "Daria, I'm [i]tired[/i] of you underestimating my intelligence. Yes, no one is as smart as you or Jodie. We worship the ground you stand on. Whatever."
"O-kay!" Jane said. "I suspect that this is staring to get hot. Why don't we all meet at the Choc'lit Shoppe for soda and pie?"
"Quinn, you're going to have to put your plans on hold," Daria said.
"[i]No[/i]," Quinn said. "If you want to tell those people that we're not interested in a charity event? You're the Legion Leader, Daria, you call them!"
Before Daria could remind Quinn of the relevant part of the Legion Constitution, metal objects in the room began to [i]float[/i], startling everyone and bringing immediate silence.
"Now listen," Jane said. "Here's what's going to happen. Charles? Shut the fuck up. Sandi? Shut the fuck up. Quinn? Boy, you should [i]really[/i] shut the fuck up. Daria? [i]Take a chill pill[/i]. Get the massive redwood sized stick out of your ass. Go to the Observatioh Deck. Listen to some Twenty-One Pilots. [i]Jill off[/i], whatever you do to relax, but for Christ's sake, do it. As for the rest of you, it's [i]timeout time[]/i]. And do not fuck with me, unless you want to be pulling a bunch of silverware out of your assholes for two hours."
Everyone quietly got up and left the room. For one moment, it was only Daria and Jane.
"What was that all about?" Daria asked Jane.
"I just said what I [i]wished[/i] my parents said about a thousand times. But Daria, I'm serious. You're going to have a fucking stroke. [i]These jokers aren't helping[/i]. You're a thinker. Go somewhere and think this out."
"You know, Jane, you're going to be a great Mom someday."
"God, I hope not, [i]amiga[/i]. I've got too much live to live!"
(* * *)
Daria took the first option that Jane offered. She had the entire Observation Deck to herself. Night had fallen, and she took in the sights of forest and mountain and cities, having the luxury of wearing nothing but a T-shirt, sleep pants, and flip thoughts.
She began running through the possible futures of the Legion in her mind. [i]The way I see it,[/i] Daria thought, [i] we have two choices.
Choice #1 is 'Wait'. Wait until some idea of perfection is reached, no matter how long it takes,, some Platonic ideal of being 'perfectly trained'. And God knows how long it will take. We could be 20, 30, 40 years old, we could never reach it. We'll just wait forever until we're 'perfect'. And how long is the National Legion going to wait on us? I'll be eighteen really soon. Theoretically, I'll be an adult woman. Does a youth organization really need 20, 30, 40 year olds representing them?
Are we just going to do 'the magic show' forever? Are we just going to be pin-ups, pictures on walls, doing comedy, doing talk shows, showing up at baseball games?
Choice #2 is "don't wait". We go out, even if we're not fully formed. America claims to believe in self-improvement. You can buy a thousand courses on it. Self-help sells. But we don't really believe in it. America believes in [b]destroying the weak[/b]. If a military parahuman team fucks up, no one has to know. The CIA pays off enough people, and someone gets sent to guard penguins in Antartica. But if the Legion fuck ups, there's no fallback. It's just us, and us alone, to take full responsibility.
I know how the cycle goes. The first part is putting people on a pedistal, the second part is knocking them off it.
Stark was one part brilliant. He was right about one thing. [b]We needed breathing space[/b]. We needed to become a work in progress. We needed our independence, we needed not to become someone else's project.
But he only left us with half the puzzle. Self-development is good to a point, but then we have to have an end in mind. Stark trusted us to find the end in mind and trusted us to choose our future.
The time has now come to choose the future. And the Legion chose me and now, I'm the person who has to provide the direction. I could make the Legion great, or I could break it into pieces.
Well, I'm not going out like a lamb, motherfuckers. I'm starting to understand that in life, you demand what you want, or you take what you're given. Like it or not, that's the way it is. I didn't make those rules. Those rules suck. They're fucking unfair. But it's all the adult assholes in the world gave me to work with, and I can't think of my own confort anymore. So I'm going to start making demands.[/i]
"No kidding," a voice said from behind her.
She turned, shocked, reaching out with her mind, ready for a confrontation. But yet, the force of the reach of her mental powers was strangely neutered when she recognized the man.
"[i]Russell Stark[/i]?" she cried.
"Shh," the man said, like Santa Claus but in middle age and with red-gray hair. "Not so loud! [i]Everybody will want one![/i] How are you, Daria?"
Daria had a million questions to ask him. But she was going to be bold. The immediate needs of the Legion had to be met. "How much do you know about what's going on?"
"I know enough," Stark said.
"What can you give me in the way of resources?"
"You want [i]more[/i]?" Stark said, aghast.
"Uh...are we poor?"
Stark burst out laughing. "Nah, we're not," he said. "I just wanted to do that Oliver Twist thing. I might be wanted in several countries but Russell Stark has not run out of money."
"Dawn Hall is quitting."
"Yeah. Dawn was a stop-gap. She did what she did entirely as a favor to me. She had to walk away because a bunch of leeches were pulling her choke-chain. I have some ideas of my own about your CEO problem. But if the problem you need solved, Daria, is one that involves [i]money[/i]? You'll find, Daria, that most of the problems in the world [i]cannot[/i] be solved by money, no matter what people claim. The real problems aren't solved by throwing resources at them. So when you come across one of those rare problems that can really be solved by money, it's like finding a jewel in a dungheap."
"I need infrastructure," Daria said.
"Send me the bill."
"I need personnel," Daria said.
"Tell me what kind of people you need. Email rstark@stark.com. Don't expect an answer, but expect it to get read."
"You really have [i]that[/i] much money?"
"I do have a lot of time. On my hands, that is."
Daria finally exhaled. She was weak in the knees. "I have so much I need to say to you."
"Sorry," Russell Stark. "I'll have to go soon. I hope you'll be polite and turn your back while I scale down the side of Legion Tower."
"What, you're a ninja?"
"I can't give away all of my secrets," Stark said. "But I would appreciate the privacy. You didn't make it easy to get in here and there's no easy way out. So make your goodbyes quick."
"Thank you for giving us the time to find our way," Daria said. "Thank you for letting us learn on our own. Thank you for letting us make mistakes. Thank you for giving us help when we need it."
"My pleasure," Stark said. "But there's another person whom you should thank, and you know exactly who it is. Now, my dear Daria, you're going to have to turn your back so I can call my reindeer."
"Okay." Daria turned her back.
"One last question," Stark said. "[i]How much do you like your mother[/i]?"
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